September 1, 2005

• Hi everyone!  I know, I know, it’s been a long time since I updated.  The last three weeks have been unreasonably busy, with lots of unexpected activities!  I miss having a social life though.  But then sometimes it seems that being aloof is the only way to emotionally survive in this work.

  
  

   

  
  

  I will update with pictures from the summer, thoughts about New Orleans, etc.  – just as soon as I have a chance to get them in order!  

  
  

   

  
  

  You know what I realized (again)?  I think God often uses my own sermons to convict me.  Or maybe it’s that I tend to preach on what I am myself convicted on.  But sometimes I think it’s more the former than the latter.

  
  

   

  
  

  Last week I gave morning worships here at Ouachita Hills, and I shared on The Fear of God.  My main point was that we naturally are people pleasers, and seek human approval, but God wants to re-train our hearts to do everything as unto the Lord, seeking first and foremost to be approved of Him. 

  
  

   

  
  

  But a new index to understanding how much of a ­man-pleaser or God-fearer I am just hit me.  Perhaps I think that pleasing my fellow human beings isn’t that important to me, but how do I feel when they reject me?  Do I allow people’s criticism of my words and actions, their incessant imposing of all kinds of undesirable motives upon my personal choices or shared advice (or even my facial expressions!) to discourage me?  Do I have a “right” to be hurt by the things I see and hear? Is the desire for human approval different from the disappointment of human criticism?  Or could it be that the pain I feel from human rejection is exactly proportional to the fear of man in my heart?

  
  

   

  
  

  I’m still grappling with the veracity of that thought.  But one thing I do know: if it’s true, then I’m in deep trouble.  I need a miracle.  Like the one promised in Jeremiah 32:40. I read in the Desire of Ages that Jesus “was never elated by applause, nor dejected by censure and disappointment.” 

  
  

   

  
  

  Oh! To be like Thee!

  
  

   

  
  

  “In the heart of Christ, where reigned perfect harmony with God, there was perfect peace. He was never elated by applause, nor dejected by censure or disappointment. Amid the greatest opposition and the most cruel treatment, He was still of good courage. But many who profess to be His followers have an anxious, troubled heart, because they are afraid to trust themselves with God. They do not make a complete surrender to Him; for they shrink from the consequences that such a surrender may involve. Unless they do make this surrender, they cannot find peace.

  
  

   

  
  

  “It is the love of self that brings unrest. When we are born from above, the same mind will be in us that was in Jesus, the mind that led Him to humble Himself that we might be saved. Then we shall not be seeking the highest place. We shall desire to sit at the feet of Jesus, and learn of Him. We shall understand that the value of our work does not consist in making a show and noise in the world, and in being active and zealous in our own strength. The value of our work is in proportion to the impartation of the Holy Spirit. Trust in God brings holier qualities of mind, so that in patience we may possess our souls.”  Desire of Ages, pages 330-331.

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